High School Reunion
by Sovrani
Summary: Holly had to endure Lily Frond all through high school, now she realises she has to work with her. On hold until I can think of another chapter.
1. High School Reunion

**(Disclaimer: Holly Short and Lily Frond belong to Eoin Colfer)**

**(A/N: I read through this chapter, and almost died of embarrassment when I realised just how many typos there were. I think I've fixed most of them, but if you notice any, do tell me)**

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**High School Reunion**

Holly Short attended Haven Public High School, along with another five hundred students. Out of all the five hundred students, there was one who annoyed her the most.

Lily Frond, one of the founding members of the "Popular" group. Lily and her friend Dewi were blonde and attractive, but they were both incredibly stupid. Holly often wondered how the empty-headed girls could walk and talk, but as they only used words such as "Like" and "Whatever" it probably wasn't considered talking. They could speak short sentences such as "Oh my god!" and "No way!" But wouldn't you know it, the boys didn't care about that. All the guys only wanted blonde, popular, busty, pretty girlfriends. It didn't matter if they bored you to tears when they told you about the dress they bought last weekend, they just had to wear a size C bra, which, for fairy standards, was pretty big.

Lily was an unusually pale elf, with sleek blonde hair that almost reached her waist. Her eyes were green and the eyelashes that framed them were almost two inches long, her nails were the same, long and manicured.

Dewi was dishwater blonde, but her hair was always messy, or tied up in a loose ponytail. Some would say that her hair looked "Hot." Others would say it looked untidy, oily and retarded. Those who did think that mostly kept it to themselves. Lily cared a lot about her image, and Dewi did too, in a messy kind of way. Then there were the cronies: Tahlia, Lucy, Brianna, Cassie and Pru, who were all basically the same: attractive, busty, terrible at fake-tanning themselves, and where so stupid you could tell them that "gullible" was written on the ceiling, and you would come back in three hours to find them going 'Where? I don't see it...'

These girls were separated into a few classes, and everytime they saw each other they would squeal with delight, and hug each other as though they hadn't seen each other for years. After blocking the way for other students for a few minutes while they gossiped about absolutely anything you'd care to name, they'd kiss each other on the cheeks and walk away. You wanted to be in the populars, you had to have large breasts, gorgeous hair, wear a lot of makeup, have heaps of contacts so you knew all the latest gossip, have lots of money or the latest mobile phone... and if you didn't have any of them and were still accepted into the group just because you had a good personality, you were dreaming.

Holly generally avoided the Populars, and they generally ignored her. Not that she was complaining. Lily and Dewi just irritated her, fluttering their eyelashes and showing off their thighs with their ridiculously short skirts. Holly's group resided somewhere in the middle. Nobody wanted to be her, and nobody spat on her or sneezed when they went past her.

What really annoyed her was how Lily and Dewi looked down their nose at her. She had never done anything to them, but somehow they hated her guts.

Holly strode into the detention room. She had forgotten her homework this morning because she had been training at the gym for three hours last night, and the second she'd got home she had fallen onto her bed straight away. She had half an hour during lunch and it didn't honestly bother her, it just depended one who would be joining her...

'Holly!' and there she was, probably Holly's least-favourite person under Earth, Lily Frond.

Holy groaned inwardly, but she kept her face impassive and sat down. 'Hi Lily.'

'Oh my god, I had, like, NO idea that you were going to be in detention too! Like, what are you in for?' Her voice buzzed in Holly's pointed ears, like an extremely annoying blonde mosquito.

'Didn't do my homework,' Holly said quietly, for it had just struck her that Lily was talking very loudly.

'Like, isn't that weird? Like, I didn't bring in my homework either! Well, it was really Bobby's fault, he was sick today so he didn't bring it,' Lily tossed back her blonde hair as she spoke.

'You PAY people to do your homework for you?' Holly asked incredulously. Her inner voice told her that actually talking to Frond was a bad idea, but she was curious.

'Not PAY, exactly...' Said Lily, carefully checking her nails hadn't chipped. 'I told Bobby if he did my history homework I'd give him one more digit to my phone number.' _Digit,_ probably the most intelligent word that Lily would ever say.

'Ah,' said Holly, and decided to stop talking to her.

Ten minutes passed of blissful silence, and Holly had just begun to think that detention with Lily couldn't be so bad when...

'Holly, do you wear makeup?'

'I – What?' Holly glanced up at her.

'I totally didn't think so, maybe if you invite me over I could bring my makeup kit and I could give you a makeover!' Lily flashed Holly a dazzling smile, and Holly suddenly wondered whether Lily used whitening strips.

'Uh, no thanks. I'm not that desperate.' Holly dropped her gaze again, eager for this detention to be over.

'Oh my god, like, why not?' Lily was completely oblivious, 'It would totally get more guys interested! You've never had a boyfriend here!'

'And you've always had a boyfriend anywhere. Why are you talking to me?' Holly looked up at the Popular girl again. It was true, Lily had had more boyfriends than anyone could count.

'I don't know, do you want to be friends?' Lily smiled again.

Holly's jaw dropped. She had just received an invitation to join the Popular group. For a moment, Holly's feminine side took over and she was tempted to say yes, but then her side made of iron core told her to snap out of it.

'No thanks, I've got friends of my own,' her feminine side gaped at her side of iron core, and suddenly her brain was a battlefield.

Lily was just staring at her, dumbstruck. Holly thought that this brain-dead look suited her personality. Lily soon came out of her reverie and began talking again.

'Well, I know you've got friends, but they aren't exactly cool, are they? I mean, sure, Jason's really smart and all, but he's got braces!'

'They're invisible wires, you can't even tell they're there!' Holly said indignantly. Jason was going to help her with her résumé when she applied for the LEP.

'Yeah, you can't see them, but you'll be able to feel them when you're kissing him. And then there's Camille, she's smart and kind of pretty, but you can't tell because she has glasses.'

'She's getting contacts next week,' Holly replied, gritting her teeth. Camille was her best friend.

'Do you still really want to hang out with losers like them?' Lily looked at her, her green eyes mocking her. 'Do you honestly want to?'

Holly decided she was done being polite.

'Wow, "honestly", that word has three syllables. Must be a record for you.'

Lily looked confused. 'What's a syllable?'

The bell went for the end of lunch, and Holly immediately got out of her seat. She didn't want to spend another minute with Frond.

'Bye Holly, I'll see you later!' Lily called after her.

'As if,' Holly muttered to herself.

**Ten Years Later...**

Holly proudly walked up the stairs to the LEP headquarters. After three years of intense training, she had finally been accepted, and today would be her first day. She had met with Commander Root the day before, and, though he had seemed a little annoyed that he would be receiving a female recruit, he welcomed her into the LEP and then slammed the door to his office in her face. Trouble Kelp had been passing at the time, and had told her not to worry about it.

'Ol' Beetroot does that all the time,' he said, smiling warmly at her. 'Just keep on his good side and you won't get sacked.' Though the words weren't particularly comforting, Holly had gladly taken the advice, and she hoped to see Trouble again.

She was halfway up the stairs when something hurtled out at her from nowhere.

'Holly! Oh my god I had, like, no idea that you're be here! It's sooo good to see you!' it was a blonde elf talking to her, and though Holly thought she recognised her, she couldn't pinpoint her name.

She decided to be frank.

'Who are you?'

'Holly, don't you remember me? It's me, Lily! Remember, from high school?'

The penny dropped, and Holly suddenly spotted the glittering green eye shadow above two green eyes that where horribly familiar.

'Frond?' she whispered, her heart sinking to her toes. She had just scored possibly the best job in all Haven, and she had to work with this bimbo? Holly started up the stairs again, hoping to shake her off.

'I knew you'd remember me! Oh gosh, it's so great to see you! I haven't seen you since our reunion!' Lily hadn't taken the whole "walking-away-from-you" hint and had hurried after her. 'How fun was it?'

'I'm surprised you could remember it at all, you were really drunk. It was rumoured that you had a threesome with Dewi and Jason,' _Holly, you're just encouraging her,_ Holly scolded herself, _just shut up and she'll leave you alone._

'Yeah, I know. Dewi is just gorgeous, and Jason had gotten his braces removed, so he was kind of hot. On the other hand, I was drunk, so who knows!'

Holly nodded miserably, staring at her feet.

'Did you know, I suggested to Dewi that she get a job here, but she transferred to Atlantis, 'cause there's some guy there who is really cute. Can you believe that?'

'Yeah, I kinda can. It's the sort of thing I'd expect from you. What are you doing here?' Holly desperately wanted to know. Maybe this was some sort of bad dream, or maybe she was in the wrong place.

'I got recruited into the LEP, just like you!' Lily flashed Holly a dazzling smile.

'How? Did you sleep your way in?' Holly decided rudeness was the best policy for this situation. Lily's smile faltered for a moment.

'What do you mean?' she asked.

'Sorry,' said Holly, 'That was a little blunt. What I should have said was, how many people did you have sex with before they let you in here?'

She should have known, Frond was so stupid she couldn't even realise that it had been an insult, and Lily smiled at her again.

'No actually, they chose me because of my qualities-' _Qualities indeed,_ Holly thought, glancing at Lily's chest. '-And daddy even put in a good word for me too! I'm sooo happy to be here!'

'Right,' Holly pushed through the doors, Lily at her heels.

'Holly, I know we weren't exactly friends in High School, but we're adults now, I think we're mature enough to put the past behind us! So, do you wanna start over? Wanna be friends?' Lily looked hopeful.

'No,' Holly said flatly.

'Aww, why not?' Lily pouted, and Holly felt like wrapping her hands around her throat and strangling her.

'I'll tell you why-' Holly began, but she never got it out because Trouble Kelp walked up to them. Holly smiled. She didn't notice many men, but Trouble was extremely attractive. She was suddenly wondering what Trouble thought of her, but then she remembered who she was standing next to.

'Hi there!' said Lily, tossing her hair, 'I'm Lily Frond, I'm new.'

Holly knew what was coming, Trouble would ask whether she happened to be related to the King and Lily would say 'Well, actually...' and ramble on and on about how her great, great, great, great grandfather did something or other. But the element of surprise does not announce itself.

'Nice to meet you,' said Trouble, hardly glancing at her. Holly felt like beaming when he turned back to her. 'Now Holly, I need to test you on the Shuttles again, even though Vinyaya said you could drive a shuttle through the gap in my teeth, there was that little accident last time... well, you know, it's just my job.'

'And me?' Lily asked hopefully.

'You need to go take another test, I suggest you go and see Corporal Vance over there,' Trouble pointed to an elf sitting at his desk, frowning at a report that he was reading.

'OK,' said Lily, tossing her hair again. 'Good luck, Holly!' And then she departed to see Vance.

Trouble waited until she was out of earshot before saying, 'Do you know her?'

Holly rolled her eyes. 'We went to the same high school.'

'Ah, do you like her?' Trouble asked.

'Do YOU?' Holly replied.

Trouble looked over at Lily, who was talking to Vance, with plenty of added hair-tossing and dazzling smiles.

'She looks like a bimbo, and acts like one too,' Trouble said finally, and Holly smiled.

Holly watched Lily carefully, and then Trouble spoke again.

'But you've known her for a while, haven't you? You've gotten to know her.'

'I thought I did,' Holly said. 'I knew her in high school from what I heard from rumours, and the things she told me herself, which wasn't actually that much. I guess nobody really knew her, except for herself. Maybe she's different from how she was at school, maybe she's changed...'

Over in Vance's cubicle, Lily accidentally knocked a pencil off the side of the desk. She bent to pick it up, knowingly giving Vance a very nice view down her blouse. The Corporal looked stunned.

Trouble arched an eyebrow and looked at Holly.

'Nope,' Holly amended, 'Hasn't changed a bit. The one and only Lily Frond.'

**(A/N: Again, point on any mistakes I might have missed. Out of the reviews I received for this, almost half of them had something like "Update soon!" when this was actually a oneoff! Well, good news for those guys, I have decided to continue this! There will be a new chapter soon. **

**Sovrani)**


	2. How Holly Got Her Crew Cut

**(Disclaimer: Holly and Lily and all the LEP people that you've heard of before belong to Eoin Colfer)**

**(A/N: I'm amazed at just how many reviews I received saying "Update soon!" when I said that this is a oneoff. Here's to the guys that wanted another chapter! P.S I'm going camping for a week, so don't expect any review replies for a while.)**

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**How Holly Got Her Crew Cut**

Never in her life had Holly Short dreaded going to the bathroom. It wasn't that they weren't clean, oh no, it was what she dreaded finding there. Holly paused outside the bathroom door. Usually she would hold on until she got home, but today she was desperate. Biting her lip, she pushed open the door.

Lily Frond had been one of the girls at high school that would rush into the women's toilet at every break to reapply her makeup. And now, ten years later, she was still exactly the same.

And there she was, standing over the sink, her makeup bag overflowing with all kinds of foundation, eyeliner, mascara, eyeshadow and lipstick. Lily looked up when she saw her and gave a squeal.

'Holly! Oh my god, it's so great to see you!' Lily rushed over to her and hugged her tightly. Holly held her arms by her sides stiffly, she was horribly reminded of every time the populars met in the corridor. Now that she and Lily had been assigned to different departments, they hardly saw each other any more. Not that Holly minded.

'Hi Lily,' she said, gritting her teeth.

'How's work?' Lily asked, turning back to the mirror and applying more mascara. Holly watched her in a strange way, as somebody would watch a horror movie with lots of gory scenes.

'It's OK,' said Holly quietly. She turned to one of the toilet cubicles and went inside. After spending as much time as she could in there, she flushed and walked out again.

Lily was still there.

She was doing her hair now, turning her head every which way, admiring herself from every angle, before letting her hair down and trying a different style. Holly tried to slip away before Frond made a remark about her hairstyle.

You have to feel sorry for her.

'Holly, do you want me to do your hair?'

Holly groaned inwardly. She was fond of her hair, she liked the colour and she liked the style, and she didn't want Frond messing with it. Holly had seen the styles that had been considered "cool" back when she was in high school. One of those messy buns that were secured in place with dozens of bobby pins, or in a side ponytail with a big poofy thing at the front. One girl called Vanessa had even had grey streaks put through her hair. Dewi had said it looked "hot." Holly had said she looked like a grandma. Not to her face, of course.

'No thanks, Lily. I'm happy with it this way,' she said in reply, and left the room. Lily shoved all her makeup back into her bag and followed.

'But you've had your hair that way since high school, you should try something different to impress the other officers.'

Holly rolled her eyes. 'Which officers?'

'Like, that Trouble Kelp, how freaking HOT is he?' Lily said enthusiastically.

Holly bit her lip. She had half a mind to say: 'Yeah, he is hot, and he's mine, so back off douchebag!' but decided against it.

'Yeah, I guess so.'

Lily's eyes lit up. 'I knew it! I knew you liked him! I should totally give you a makeover!'

'No thank you, I can attract men without wearing half a tonne of fake skin on my face,' _fake skin, _Holly decided that was what she was going to call foundation from now on.

'You should still let me do your hair, we can cut it and put streaks in it, or get you a fringe, you'd look totally hot!'

Holly was stuck. She knew if she continued refusing, Fond wouldn't shut up for ages, and Holly had better things to do than listen to some bimbo tell her that she wasn't "hot" without dead straight hair and grey streaks.

On the other hand, if she did let Lily do her hair, it was a disaster waiting to happen.

'We can straighten it, or make it a little curlier, we can plait it or crimp it, I think purple streaks would look hot with your colour hair, or we can dye it a completely different colour! I think you'd look good with honey-blonde, or even black. If you do get it black, we can put white streaks in it, and that would look SO HOT!' Lily said happily, her green eyes scanning Holly's auburn locks. 'Are those split ends? What shampoo do you use?'

'OK, OK! I'll let you do my hair! But no dyeing or streaks, just a cut.' Holly couldn't believe she was saying it. She had just agreed to get her hair mutilated by a person who didn't know her left from right.

Lily was ecstatic.

'So you'll come over tonight? Then you can sleep over too! That would be SO AWESOME! We can do our nails too, and we can gossip about stuff and make prank calls, or we can call up Dewi or Cassie or Lucy and get them to meet us somewhere!'

'I... er... OK,' Holly suddenly felt like crying.

_What have you done?! _her common sense screamed. _You're a complete idiot!_

Her feminine side spoke up. **_What are you talking about? When your hair's done you'll look hot! _**

_Oh, shut up._

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Holly looked at herself in the mirror. She was admiring her hair for what might possibly be the last time. Her auburn locks fell to her shoulders, with the part in the middle. True, this had been her hairstyle since high school, but it was what suited her, and she was going to miss it.

She was giving her hair a mental funeral when the door opened, to reveal Lily Frond grinning her head off and her arms full of hair products.

'Ready?' she asked happily, and Holly nodded unenthusiastically.

'Lie back over the sink, and I'll wash it and then I'll cut it and give it an awesome style, and when I'm done you'll look totally hot and then you can thank me and I'll do you nails.'

Holly lay back and Lily got right to work. She massaged in the shampoo and then rinsed it out, then spent a while with the conditioner, doing it very carefully. Holly was almost enjoying herself Lily exclaimed, 'OK, sit up now.'

Holly sat up and Lily attacked her hair, combing and brushing and pinning it up in all sorts of different ways. Lily chewed her lip, and then pulled out the scissors.

Holly clenched her eyes shut as she heard the _snip snip_ sound. She felt a small strand of hair fall to the floor, and had a sudden thought that this must be what it's like to lose some of your soul. Then she snorted inwardly and banished the thought. It was ridiculous.

For another half hour, Lily stood there cutting and combing and drying the hair in some places. All this time Holly kept her eyes shut. This was a big mistake.

'OK, all the cutting's done, now I'll dry it...' Holly heard some fumbling and a hairdryer switch on. Her eyes still tightly closed, Holly heard everything else Lily said being drowned out by the whine of the hairdryer. Fifteen minutes later, the whine stopped and Holly was suddenly nervous.

'OK, it's all done. Open your eyes.'

Holly opened them and wished she hadn't.

'Lily,' Holly said quietly, gritting her teeth, 'what the hell did you do?'

**------------------------------**

Holly stood in the hallway, dialling the phone furiously. Her hair was now cut _very_ close to her head, with long parts at the very back that fell to just above her shoulders and then there was a ridiculous fringe in front, that made her hair look horribly uneven.

'But Holly!' Lily had called, after Holly had furiously thrown her towel at her, 'Your hair looks HOT! It's the latest cut!' Holly had ignored her. She didn't care whether this was the latest cut, or whether it was the oldest cut under earth. She hated it.

The phone rang twice, and then someone picked up.

'Louie's hair parlour, how may I help you?'

'Louie, it's Holly Short here,' Holly said.

'Oh, Holly! What can I do for you?' said Louie happily. Holly was one of his regular customers.

'I've got an emergency,' Holly glanced up to see Lily looking out the bathroom door at her. 'I serious hair disaster...'

'Holly, you look fine. You look great,' Lily insisted, though she didn't look too sure.

'Well...' Louie said slowly on the other end of the phone, 'It _is_ almost closing time... But I guess I can make an exception, only because it's you.'

_Thank god,_ Holly's common sense said in relief.

**_Never again in your life will you let that freak cut your hair! Look what she's done to you! _**her feminine side said angrily.

'Thank you so much Louie, I'll be there in ten minutes,' Holly hung up and grabbed a coat off a doorhandle, she carefully put the hood over her head. There was no way she was going to let anyone see her like this.

'Holly, where are you going?' Lily asked as Holly pulled open the font door. Holly spun around.

'I'm going to go and get this mess straightened out, then I'm going home,' she snapped.

'Straightened? But I can straighten it for you, I've got a hair straightener!' Lily said as Holly marched out.

'Go straighten your brain,' Holly retorted, and slammed the door in Lily's stupid face

**------------------------------**

'What a stupid girl,' Louie said to her, as he snipped away at Holly's disaster. At first he had been a bit miffed that Holly had allowed someone else to cut her hair, but after seeing what Lily had done, he had been most sympathetic. Louie was a homosexual sprite, and Holly found him incredibly easy to talk to. Louie had been cutting her hair for years, and he always shared her opinions, and even now, he was just as angry at Lily as Holly was.

'I shouldn't have shut my eyes,' Holly grumbled to herself, 'I should have kept them open, then I could have prevented this.'

'Darling, you couldn't have prevented this if you went back in time. This Frond person would stop at nothing until she cut your hair. I'd do the same, but I would have at least done some research before doing this...' Louie said observing his handiwork and biting his lip.

'What's wrong?' Holly asked, slightly panicked. She didn't excessively care about her image, but her hair she cared about. She thought it was her best feature, that or her eyes.

'Well, this girl is not very talented, and I've done the best I can, but... It still looks "wrong,"' Louie, combed at a small part that was sticking up.

'What can you do for me?' Holly asked.

Louie took a moment before answering.

'How do you feel about a crew cut?'

**------------------------------**

Holly dropped her coat on the couch and threw key keys on the kitchen bench before hurrying down the hallway to the bathroom. Inspecting herself carefully in the mirror she decided she didn't look too bad. She certainly looked better than what Lily had done to it. It was now short everywhere and she had decided to keep the fringe, though she had declined Louie's offer to put streaks through it.

She was still checking through her hair when her phone started ringing. Holly ignored it, she thought she knew who it might be, and she didn't think she was wrong.

'Hi, you've reached Holly Short, I'm obviously not here so leave a message...' there was a pause '... how do you turn this freaking thing off..?' _Beep_.

'Hi Holly, it's Lily...' Holly gritted her teeth. Lily was about the last person she wanted to talk to right now. 'I guess you're not home yet... Uh, I just gotta say, I'm sorry that you don't like your hair, but I can fix it... Call me.'

Holly rolled her eyes.

'Yeah, I'll call you,' she muttered, walking over to her answering machine and pressing "Delete." Holly turned on her TV and went to the fridge, hunting out any leftovers that could possibly be inside. After pulling out a container of stir-fry, she stuck it in the microwave and slumped on her couch, absently playing with what remained of her hair.

**------------------------------**

Holly went into work the next morning feeling nervous. She knew she shouldn't be, but it was like wearing fake tan: come in one day completely orange, and the next with brown blotches all over your face. She had plenty of excuses at her disposal, she refused to tell anyone that she had actually allowed Frond to cut her hair.

She pushed open the door and ignored the gasps and eyes that followed her. Holly put her head down until she got to her cubicle and sat down. Maybe nobody would notice her today.

Then Trouble Kelp walked inside.

'Hi Holly... Whoa...' Holly felt his eyes boring into her. She bit her lip.

'Hi Trouble,' she said.

'I... wow... your hair...' Holly looked up at him.

'It looks really good, it really suits you,' he grinned at her.

Holly found herself smiling. 'Really? You think so?'

'Yeah, I really do. It really draws attention to your eyes, and it frames your face in a really nice way,' Trouble said, cocking his head to the side. 'You look great.'

Holly smiled warmly at him.

'I'll see you later then,' Trouble left.

Holly laughed to herself. If she was getting attention from Trouble Kelp, maybe having a crew cut wasn't so bad...

**(A/N: Yeah, I decided to say why exactly Holly got a crew cut. Next time I'm going to tell how she became a vegetarian. Can you imagine how that came to be..? XD I'm so mean to Holly! That's the beauty of fan fiction for you! Until next time!**

**Sovrani)**


	3. How Holly Became Vegetarian

**(Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognise) **

**(A/N: I'm back from my camping trip and I'm nursing eighty three mosquito bites. Yeah, eighty three. I've got pictures. I hate camping, I don't recommend camping to anyone who's attached to their computer **

**Please note that there is one swearword in this chapter. Grin and bear it) **

**------------------------------ **

**How Holly Became Vegetarian **

Holly was introduced to Foaly two days after she got her hair cut.

Commander Root appeared in her cubicle one morning and led her to the Ops Booth, saying, 'You need to get your file photo updated, your ID can't have a picture of you with shoulder-length hair...' he continued to ramble on about how women are continuously cutting and dyeing their hair, and Holly tried to stay interested, while on the look out for Lily Frond.

She hadn't spoken to Frond since the incident with her hair, and she was avoiding her whenever possible.

Root dropped her outside the Ops Booth and departed, mumbling about women and their hair-cutting ways, and Holly felt suddenly very lost. She had walked past the door to Ops, but she had never been inside, or met the LEP technician for that matter. Feeling like a kindergartener who's lost their mum, she knocked cautiously on the door.

'Yeah?' a masculine voice came from the other side of the door.

'I uh...' Holly was unsure what to say. 'Commander Root sent me to get my file photo taken, my name is...'

Before Holly could finish the door whooshed open, revealing a centaur sitting in a specially modified swivel chair.

'Holly Short,' said the centaur, standing up and trotting over to her. 'I'm Foaly, and I will be taking your photo at this present time,' he said sticking out his hand.

Holly shook it, smiling warmly. This centaur seemed to be the friendly type, admittedly wearing a tinfoil hat.

Foaly sat back down on his swivel chair. 'Do sit down,' he said, 'I'll be with you in a second, just need to change the background music and send a couple of viruses...' his fingers darted over the keyboard as Holly sat down in another swivel chair.

'So you're the one who changes the music every day?' she asked.

'Every hour,' Foaly said, smiling, 'if I didn't change the music, everyone would go insane from hearing the same thing over and over and over...' Foaly hit the "send" key and the music suddenly changed.

'So how do you like being with the LEP?' he asked, selecting a few windows and typing a little more.

'Well, I've wanted to be with the LEP since high school,' Holly replied.

'What do you think of ol' Beetroot?' Foaly swivelled around to face her, his work done.

'You mean Commander Root?' Holly said, puzzled.

'Have you noticed how purple his face gets when he's in a bad mood? That's what we call him, not to his face, of course,' Foaly opened a drawer and started shuffling things aside, look for his camera.

Holly grinned.

'Don't move!' Foaly said suddenly, a contraption of some type in his hand.

Holly didn't even have time to say "why?" because her smiling face suddenly appeared on one of Foaly's many computer screens.

'You look gorgeous darlin', like a model,' Foaly said, pressing a few keys and making the printer start up.

Holly was drawn to Foaly's strange garment.

'If you don't mind me asking, why are you wearing a tinfoil hat?' she asked, pointing at it.

'Oh, you mean this thing?' Foaly looked up. 'It's essential. Human intelligence is probing my mind.'

Holly snorted, 'right, and I shot a flying pig in France last week.'

Foaly turned to her again, looking thoughtful. 'I like your sense of sarcasm, Short, I think we're going to get along just fine.'

With that, he turned back to his computer, pressing more keys.

'While your photo is printing out, how about you tell me about yourself?' Foaly said.

'Well, I went to Haven High School,' said Holly, thinking that was somewhere to start.

Foaly nodded. 'We've taken on a few recruits from there, do you know anyone?'

'Have you heard of Lily Frond?' Holly asked.

'Nope, but I will soon,' Foaly answered, calling up a file on his computer. 'Whoa!'

Holly rolled her eyes. On the screen was Lily's file photo, her wearing her LEP uniform, but with a kinky sort of smile that would get most males drooling and plenty of females raising their eyebrows and tutting.

'Are those real?' Foaly exclaimed incredulously, and Holly sighed.

'So you're one of them?'

Foaly gave a slight guffaw. 'No thank you, I think I'll go search for one of the remaining female centaurs, this girl has put me off,' he looked over at Holly, who was beaming.

A small white card popped out of the printer, already laminated and holding all of Holly's details. Foaly handed it to her.

'Now, you don't lose that, you hear?' he said, showing her out of the Ops Booth.

Holly went back to her cubicle, looking at her new ID. If she hadn't been so interested in the little piece of paper, she might have looked around. Shame that she didn't.

'Holly!'

Holly knew who that voice belonged to. She groaned inwardly.

'Hi Lily.'

Today, instead of her LEP uniform, Lily Frond was wearing a black shirt, with gold Gnommish lettering that read "I wish these were brains." Holly scowled at the shirt. Frond had a right to wish.

'I was just talking to Trouble Kelp,' Lily said, tossing her blonde hair. 'I think he's taken a liking to me, if you know what I mean,' Lily winked at her. Holly knew what she meant, and nodded morosely.

'Oh my god, can you believe he's getting promoted?' Lily continued to say, 'Are you going to the ceremony on Friday?'

'Yeah,' Holly mumbled. Trouble had told her yesterday and invited her.

'I am so psyched!' Lily exclaimed, 'Oh my god, how about you come over for dinner before the ceremony? I know they have appetisers and refreshments before, but those foods are really high in fat and taste GROSS! So, if you do come over we can have roast chicken and whatever and then I can do your hair and nails and we can go together!'

She said all of this very fast.

'No thanks,' Holly said before even considering. The last time she had been to Lily Frond's house, half her hair had been cut off.

'Oh, come on!' Lily pleaded, 'I owe you for the thing with your hair, even though it looks fine.' It was as though she read Holly's mind.

Holly thought about it. Last time, it had been her own fault about her hair, she shouldn't have agreed to it in the first place, but a harmless dinner seemed to be fine.

'Well, OK,' Holly agreed, though her common sense told her she was making a mistake, 'I'll come.'

Lily looked ecstatic.

'I knew you'd say yes! You do eat chicken?'

'Yeah, I do,' Holly replied, and Lily practically skipped away, saying, 'OK, see you Friday!'

Once she was gone, Holly reconsidered, but came up with the same results: It was only dinner, what could happen?

If only she knew...

**------------------------------ **

Friday arrived, and with it, nervousness. Holly had no idea why she was so anxious about a stupid dinner, but she was, and it was too late to cancel.

'You'll be fine,' Foaly assured her over lunch. She had taken to spending her lunchtimes with Foaly in the Ops Booth, and she had expressed her unease. 'If this girl is anything like you've told me, the worst that'll happen is she blows up the oven or something. There's nothing to worry about.'

'I sure hope you're right,' Holly said, 'because the last time I trusted Frond with something that sounded harmless, I ended up with a crew cut and a headache.'

Foaly shrugged.

After work, Holly made her way to Lily Frond's apartment. She had been there before, and she felt there was no hurry to visit again. _Maybe there'll be some of my hair left on the bathroom floor,_ Holly thought savagely.

She paused just outside the front door with her fist raised. If anyone had passed by, they might have stared. Coming to a decision, Holly knocked on the door.

It was answered almost immediately but a flustered Lily Frond. Her hair was a bit frizzy and she was wearing an apron.

'Hi Holly,' she greeted, 'come in, I was just starting to prepare the chicken.'

Holly stepped inside. Music was blaring loudly from speakers in the lounge. Holly almost winced: she had never liked the music by Fairy Pop groups.

Lily beckoned to her from the kitchen door. 'Come on, you can help me if you'd like.'

Holly went into the kitchen. She was immediately surprised by how clean the room was. Lily was over at the oven, preheating it.

'I'm a fine cook, everyone says so,' she said brightly, pulling some herbs out of the fridge. 'Though, you were in my cooking class at school, so you'd know!'

'You went to three classes in that one year,' Holly pointed out. 'The rest of the time you were at cheerleading practice sessions.' This was absolutely true, Lily had been a cheerleader for the school's Crunchball team. The cheerleaders had done nothing for the team, but distract them from their games with their ridiculously short skirts and pom-poms.

Lily shrugged and lifted a cage from under the table. Inside was a small black chicken, it's wings fastened by it's sides with a small belt.

Holly stared at it. 'What's that for?' she asked.

'I told you we're having roast chicken tonight,' Lily replied, opening the cage and pulling bird out. It squawked in alarm.

'Whatever chicken I eat is... well, it's already dead,' Holly said feeling slightly nervous.

'Whatever chicken is already dead has been in the tunnels for a few hours, and it gets damaged and tastes gross. But if I get a live chicken, the meal is more fresh, and tastes so much better,' it would probably be the most intelligent sentence Lily would ever say, and she pulled out a large butchers knife out of the top drawer.

Lily lowered it to the condemned bird's neck.

'What are you doing?' Holly asked abruptly.

Lily looked at her, and the poor black bird on the tabletop struggled in an attempt to get away, though it's fate was already sealed.

'Preparing the chicken,' Lily said, and pressed the knife to the chicken's neck.

'Oh gods!' Holly shrieked as blood spattered Lily Frond's otherwise spotless tiled floor.

Holly stumbled out of the kitchen and slammed the door behind her. She leaned against the wall, breathing hard, and her hearth hammering painfully against her ribs. 'Oh gods,' she breathed again. She closed her eyes and took several deep breaths in an attempt to calm herself. _I just saw a chicken get decapitated,_ she thought in disgust and shock, _I heard the sound it made. I'm never eating meat again. Never. _

'Holly?' Lily emerged from the kitchen.

There was chicken blood dripping from her gloves, the crimson liquid staining the cream carpet. Holly could only stare with horror.

Then the sight of the poor chicken returned to her.

'Shit,' said Holly and, clapping her hand over her mouth, she sprinted to the bathroom and locked the door behind her.

Lily hurried to the bathroom door, pulled off one of her gloves and knocked.

'Holly,' she said, over the sound of retching, 'Are you OK?'

'Oh, yes,' said Holly's voice, a little more high-pitched than usual, but still dripping with sarcasm, 'I'm absolutely fine! Just peachy!'

It was a while later when Holly emerged from the bathroom, her usual coffee-coloured complexion slightly pale.

'I'm going home,' she said forcefully, before Lily could even ask. 'I'll see you at the ceremony.'

Holly picked up her bag and left.

**------------------------------ **

Holly arrived later at the ceremony looking calmer than you'd expect. Foaly noticed her face and frowned, watching her as she collapsed into a chair looking exhausted.

Holly spoke little that evening and smiled even less. She looked somewhat relieved when Trouble Kelp came up to talk to her.

'Hi Holly,' he said, pushing a champagne glass into her hand.

'Hi Trouble,' Holly said, 'congratulations. I would have been here earlier but...' she drifted off, staring into her champagne. She was almost scared to drink it, in fear that it would come up again.

'Are you OK? You look a little pale,' Holly smiled at his concern.

'I had a bit of a shock before, but I'll be OK in a while...'

Holly spotted Commander Root up on the platform, fiddling with a microphone. She noticed Foaly made no attempts to help him.

'I think you had better be going,' she said, gesturing to Root, 'Good luck, Corporal, I mean _Captain_ Kelp.'

Trouble smiled at her and hurried to help Root with the microphone.

Holly looked down to see a Pixie waiter holding up a tray of honey-soy chicken wings. The sight almost made her gag, but she kept a straight face.

'Would you like to try one, madam?' the pixie asked.

Holly shook her head. 'No thanks,' she said. 'I'm a vegetarian.'

**------------------------------ **

**(A/N: And that, children, is the story of how Holly Short became a vegetarian. Before anyone starts paying me out about the whole "Fairies are not meant to have toilets in the house, so where did Holly throw up, eh?" I'll remind you all that you can throw up in the sink as well, or even in the bathtub. Or she might have spewed in the toilet. Pick one, just don't flame me about it. Review and I might continue **

**Sovrani) **


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